GET WITH GOLF ETIQUETTE — OR GET OUT!

By Doug McAllister

Since my comments about the mouthy golfer and his friend at the Fox Hollow driving range, I have had a chance to discuss things more with a few fellow golfers about that omnipresent question in golf: HOW MUCH SHOULD ETIQUETTE PLAY A PART IN THE GAME?

So let's discuss things.

In order to do justice to the subject, it will take two separate posts, one to discuss the responsibility of the individual golfer and one to discuss the role of the golf establishment in perpetuating good golf etiquette.


RESPONSIBILITIES FOR GOOD GOLF ETIQUETTE: A GOLFER'S RESPONSIBILITIES

When trashing my friend, Baldy Bermuda, some thought I was too harsh. The notion, after all, of a giant bat carrying away a lovable golfing nerd! Simply too much! What's wrong with a well-meaning guy getting verbally loud and obnoxious on a public driving range? Isn't golf supposed to be fun? Isn't a little exuberance to be expected and welcomed?

Certainly! Golf is supposed to be fun. But it must be remembered that golf is primarily an activity exacted in the space between the ears. As such, golf — I should qualify that, GOOD GOLF — demands tremendous concentration and even well meant silliness can be a tremendous distraction to other golfers. Baldy's problem was that his shorts shouted, at times, even louder than his mouth. But golf etiquette, as it pertains to attire, is entirely another discussion altogether. So, let's get back on track.

How can the golfer know what is and what isn't good golf etiquette? First of all, golf etiquette is best learned by example. Those who introduce friends or associates or children to the game have a responsibility to teach etiquette as much as any of the other aspects of the game. Sure, teach the full swing with the driver — but why neglect the equally important full swing with the rake in the bunker? Teach a young golfer the importance of taking a divot with an iron to achieve backspin AND be sure to teach the importance of replacing that divot when you're done! Golfers who have questions about the subject of golf etiquette need look no further than "THE RULES OF GOLF," published annually by the United States Golf Association. There's a whole section there on golf etiquette and it's importance. Read it and you'll have accomplished something that Tiger Woods apparently hasn't even done! In a nutshell the USGA notes, "The overriding principle [of golf etiquette] is that consideration should be shown to others on the course at all times." There it is. Short and sweet. In short, Golf's central rule is golden: On the course (and practice facilities!) do unto others as you would have them do unto you!

I suppose Baldy Bermuda might argue that he's just fine with people screaming and yelling and audibly evaluating their clubs and their swings RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF HIS PUTTING OR SWINGING OR WHATEVER. So that gives him all the leave he needs to do the same at all times on the course. Unfortunately, golf etiquette works to a much higher standard. It demands that we look at other golfers and determine what their needs might be and, then, act accordingly.


THE MECHANICS OF GOOD GOLF ETIQUETTE

I could go on and on. But I won't. (There, everyone take a deep breathe and exhale a huge sigh of relief!) Suffice it to say that good golf etiquette involves being sure that the golf course, physically, and all those participating thereon are as good or better as a result of your play or participation on any given day. Period. If the course or any player is damaged — in even the smallest sense — as a result of your being there, it's a sure bet that good golf etiquette has not been served. In short, rake it and fix it and whisper it (such as when someone is playing) and yell it (when warning those ahead of your unintentional though decidedly errant "true flight" shot) and leave it better than you found it! Simple.


TOO MUCH FOR YOU?

And if you're not up to it — to taking the time to learn the processes and practices of good golf etiquette and then putting them to work in your golf experience with increasing devotion — fine. There are plenty of etiquette-less games and sports and pursuits out there from which to choose. Please! Do us all who love the game a favor and leave! Don't wait, do it today! Sell those clubs NOW. Give away your golf balls. Become a rambunctious rugger (that's a rugby player). Scoot into skateboarding. Hell! Become a soccer or hockey fan and be as loud as you want and beat the crap out of everyone you see! Just stay as far away from the great game of golf as possible. Thanks, in advance for your consideration.

NEXT TIME: Golf Etiquette for the Golf Establishment

HELAS!!