A MUST FOR THE "WILFULLY" STUPID! PRESENT AND FUTURE

by Doug McAllister

One of the first entries that you will read in the book THE BEST ADVICE EVER FOR GOLFERS is a quote about golf penned in 1908 by Arnold Haultain. Haultain observes, simply, that to be obsessed with golf "is not so much a sign of pitiable insanity as of wilful stupidity." We'll here's to the "wilfully" stupid and to anyone else to wants a collection of observations, anecdotes, quotes, quips and stories about this sport of sports. THE BEST ADVICE EVER FOR GOLFERS by Robert McCord is a must for you and for your library.

It's all here. Chapters include "Golf the Obsession...", "Down the Fairway...", "Grace Under Pressure..." and subjects that cover just about every aspect of the game. Contributors include some of the greatest names in the history of the game from Hagen to Hogan, from Palmer to Player, from Watson to Woods and from Nicklaus to Nelson and everyone in between.

More than a "How To..." book, THE BEST ADVICE EVER FOR GOLFERS is idle chat about the game by the greats as if you were with them at the 19th hole. It's also a great "almanac" of golf for everyone from seasoned golfers to those thinking about taking the golf plunge. If you are among the latter, be very careful when reading this book. You may find yourself, before you know it, among the ranks of the "wilfully" stupid as Mr. Haultain so eloquently put it.

Hit 'Em Long and Straight — wilfully and stupidly!

THE GOLF HALL OF FAME (OR NOT SO FAMOUS)

by Doug McAllister

This day in golf history saw the birth of a Golf Hall of Famer and the death of another. In 1890 future U.S. President and golfing fanatic, Dwight David Eisenhower was born on this day in the obscure prairie town of Abilene, Kansas. And, some 87 years later, an equally obsessed golfer named Harry Lillis "Bing" Crosby died in Madrid, Spain on October 14, 1977.

I bring this up because of the recent caterwauling that resulted from news of one of the latest inductees into the same storied Hall.

Former President, George W. Bush was inducted and almost immediately the naysaying began. "What has he done to deserve to be there?" was the most common question asked. What indeed?

To tell you the truth, I can't say why. The 'W' in his name does stand for Walker — tied directly to the Walker Cup. Maybe that had something to do with it. Maybe not.

But, hey, why Bing Crosby or President Eisenhower? One used money and influence to establish an event that contributed mightily to west coast golf while the other, through his own talentless addiction to the game, popularized the game in the 1950's. Oh...and he got a tree named after him at Augusta National. Why? Because he couldn't, for the life of him, manage to play a round there without hitting it! Even went so far as to try to use his influence to have the darned thing torn out by the roots! Yep, the stuff of a Hall of Fame Career if there ever was one.

Interestingly, there was a bit of complaining about Ernie Els being inducted this year as well. Barely eligible to enter the Hall from an age-requirement standpoint, some believed that he should have had to wait for a while. Interesting. Some even rationalized, as Els might have another Major in his future, it would be best to wait. As if adding another Major to his impressive credentials might disqualify him? (Okay...so I know what they mean. But it's still a remarkably stupid observation to make, in my humble opinion!)

It needs to be remembered that, like most other sports Halls of Fame, every golfer will not make the Hallowed Hall. Just take a look at the list of those IN the Hall. See any names missing that you were just sure would be there? I did.

Where is Oscar Bane "Pop" Keeler? Bobby Jones' friend and confidant and golf writer. Where is Grantland Rice? Rice coined the famous saying "It isn't whether you win or lose, but how you play the game." In my opinion, these sports journalists are as deserving as Bernard Darwin, another golf writer who IS in. And it goes without saying that Keeler and Rice would be far better additions to the Hall than Crosby, Eisenhower or Bush!

And, then, there are the many "generic" golfers in the Hall. Undoubtedly a case can be made for each, I suppose. But, just to name a few — who the heck are Fred Corcoran, Joseph Dey, Herb Graffis and Richard Tufts? To look at their plaques, they appear to be suited bean counters. No doubt they were perceived as contributors to the game and no doubt, as well, they may have dropped a few too many bucks to be given the privilege. Money, after all, opens far too many doors. But, recognizable names or not, there they are in the Hall. And far less notable than George W. Bush.

But like so many things about the game, The Hall of Fame, really has very little to do with the intrinsic quality and enduring value of the game itself, regardless of who is there or not. But, you knew I was going to say that, didn't you? That's because you're smart!

You know, then, that I am also going to say...

Hit 'Em Long and Straight!

TALON'S COVE: UTAH'S TRUEST LINKS COURSE

by Doug McAllister

Seems today that the buzz when it comes to courses is "links." You hear it everywhere, "I played a links course today..." or "it's a links style course..." But the truth is, there is a distinct set of characteristics that are involved in true links courses. Take St. Andrews for example. The granddaddy links course of them all defines what is involved. Most specifically, it involves land that has been washed and worked over time by the action of water. By definition, links land was the land that "linked" the seashore to inland lands used for farming and grazing. Nothing to do, as some assume, with a linkage of holes on a course. It's this water-worked characteristic that truly defines a links course.

Which brings me to Talon's Cove in Saratoga Springs, Utah.

Situated on the northwest shore of Utah Lake, Talon's Cove — I believe — offers a true setting for a links course. The land, washed and shaped by the action of the waters of ancient Lake Bonneville, offers the a rolling and moguled landscape that is ideal for links golf. Shaped by
Architect Gene Bates, the course, featuring panoramic views of Utah Valley in all directions, is nothing short of spectacular.

From the back tees, Talon's Cove offers a monstrous championship track of just over 7,000 yards with a rating of 72.5 and a slope of 127. But five different tees insure that the course offers a great experience for golfers of all ability levels.

But it's the course's setting that sets the place apart. Nothing I have played in Utah is remotely similar. On a fair day the experience is wonderful. When the wind picks up off the lake, be prepared for a true Open Championship experience.

For more information, check out http://www.talonscove.com.

If you get a chance, play Talon's Cove. You won't regret it. I promise!

HELAS!

SWING THEORIES OLDER THAN STOCKTON, HARMON AND THE CAST OF THOUSANDS!

by Doug McAllister

I'm sure that you've seen the recent avalanche of name-brand golf instruction that has saturated the game of late. It seems that you can't swing a pitching wedge without hitting Dave Stockton or Butch Harmon or Hank Haney or Sean Foley or some other notable in golf instruction squarely in the face. With all the hoopla, I found myself asking, is it really all THAT?


Let's take Eldrick for a case study.

Starts out with the venerable Butch Harmon. The whole world flocks to Butch as a result. Tiger's game flourishes. Eldrick wins majors. Everyone is happy! Then something goes wrong. Eldrick's game fizzles. A drought begins. Can't be that Tiger is to blame. Must be Butch's fault. Out with Butch! Bad, bad Butch!

In with Hank...for awhile.

Haney quits. Global golf disappointment abounds. Next Eldrick strikes out on his own. No coaches needed. After all, how can the greatest ever learn anything from anybody?

But, surprise! Suddenly Sean Foley is seen sniffing around Tiger on the practice tee. Eureka! A swing change is implemented that, we are told, will take months and months to groove! But, hallelujah! Eldrick will be back soon!

Now, the question. If Butch Harmon was the best teacher for Tiger then, why not now? Is it that Harmon underwent a questionable neuro-medical procedure — like Ernest Hemingway — and has now lost IT? The same might be asked about Haney. Why not ask that about Tiger?

And a peripheral question: what ever came of Tiger switching putters back and forth and back, again, at St. Andrews? Hmmm! Kind of smacks of the "musical chairs" game being played with his coaches. But, we'll get back to that...in a future post!

And then there's the strange case of Dave Stockton.

Stockton works with Phil. Long made putts are the result. Stockton appears in every golf periodical under the sun and there is much rejoicing! The golfing gospel has a new messiah—Dave Stockton!

But wait! Funny! It's as if I've heard it before. Golf déjà vu? Why is that? Because I have heard it all before. From my golf class teacher, Jay Naylor, from my university days to lessons with my friend Brent Wade to studying books by Tom Watson and Jack Nicklaus.

You mean Stockton isn't preaching anything new in the golf instruction game? Absolutely not. And the really sad thing is that when the winds of changes blow in a different direction, Stockton will like be yesterday's golfing fad. His "original theories" about putting, however, will remain in the lexicon of golf fundamentals for everyone to pick up and try.

What am I driving at here? Quite simply the fundamentals of good golf are probably older than Old Tom. And, as it probably was in the old days at the Old Course, golf is the king of the head games.

In the end, it isn't who teaches you that matters. Unless bragging about designer golf lessons and paying the price for them is what "floats your boat!" It's who you choose to believe that shaves strokes. And, hopefully, that who is you!

Hit 'em Long and Straight
...and you don't need a teacher with a brand name to accomplish that!

THIS AREA RESERVED FOR DEDICATED GOLFS ONLY!

by Doug McAllister

Golf has become a pathetic business networking dodge all over the planet, as corporate types gather on courses to schmooze each other, their clients and anyone else who might get caught in the crossfire! Sad, really. But, nonetheless, all too true. Golf in far too many circles has become nothing but a write off. Nothing more than a hollow fashion statement.

Why not just go some place at eat? Everyone pretty much knows how to eat and it's a rare problem when someone misses their mouth because of a too much of a slice being applied when trying to get their food from their fork to their mouths!

Why does it have to be golf? Golf is arguably the hardest game on the planet so why subject coworkers and clients to the humiliation? And if it has to be a physical activity, why not start some interest in corporate bowling outings? How about bocci? The alternatives seem endless.

But apparently is has to be golf. But it kills me that people come together to participate in an activity that they have no intention of really pursuing.

Case in point. This morning, while practicing putting at a "premier" local course, I happened to listen in on a conversation among the sort that I am discussing here. The conversation lasted a good 15 minutes and, in that time, guess how many references were made to golf? Yup, the big fat goose egg. NONE!

Oh, the conversation was brisk. Never stopping. They discussed the travel plans of one colleague. They discussed new product releases. They discussed promotions. They discussed corporate politics. They even discussed the venue for an upcoming corporate Christmas party. But not one of them cared enough about the game to say one word about anything golf-related.

They had come to play golf, right? I quickly glanced over my shoulder. Four golfers. Four set of clubs. Two golf carts. Each was wearing a brand new golf glove. Must be here to golf. Surely one of them would drop a few balls on the putting green—where I was the sole putter—and try to get ready for the round. Nope!

And then a thought struck me. Why not allow the corporate outings to come to the course and not play — just network? Eureka! Surely I was on to something big! Let them go through the motions and put on brand new golf gloves and wear really expensive golf apparel and act like they wanted to play — just don't require them to! Charge them the very same green fees. After all, part of the charade is forking over the bucks, especially at really-ultra-cool-premium golf courses.

Naturally, this "Corporate Round" would be able to be "played" in a third of the time that a normal real round would. And a new scoring system could be implemented for the proceedings. Three business cards placed in less that 15 minutes would constitute a birdie, while four would be an eagle. No cards placed or spending more than ten minutes on the cell phone in any given stretch would constitute a bogey. Marshals would have the option of throwing anyone off the course who spent more that fifteen continuous minutes on a call. Longest drive would be awarded to the participant who not only placed a card but closed a sale as a result! Closest to the hole would be awarded to anyone who secured a job interview during the course of the "round" while a "hole-in-one" would be awarded for getting hired right then and there!

It would be fun!

This would have the added benefit of allowing real golfers to access the links. And, since the corporate klatch will be paying green fees, the rates for those of us who really want to play will be less exorbitant!

Okay...so it's not really realistic. But you can't fault me for trying.

HELAS!

RYDER CUP TRIUMPHS AND DISASTERS ARE STILL IMPOSTORS!

by Doug McAllister

And with that, the end of another Ryder Cup. Now, the eternal analysis begins! Why? Because we are disasterologists. We are drawn to it. We have to try to make a drama out of a game, complete with a script befitting a Shakespearean tragedy!

That being the case, let's get started.


DONE BEFORE IT STARTED?

Johnny Miller, when analyzing the failed shot of a competitor in a Major Championship, once observed, "That shot was missed before he ever hit it! Look at where he placed the ball. Look at where his feet are. He missed that shot with a bad set-up!"

Could the same be said of the U.S. Team at this year's Ryder Cup? I think so. Just compare it to what happened in 2008. There was no Tiger nonsense in 2008. Nothing there to draw Paul Azinger's mind away from the golf. No wild guessing games as to who would make it and who wouldn't. No melodrama.

This year everything centered on Eldrick! And with the farce the attention was drawn away from how the team would compete. How do you think the players who qualified felt? They qualified with their play and yet they were simply bit players in our drama. It was as if the PGA said to them, "Oh...yes...you. Congratulations! Now, go sit over there and be quiet. We need to see whether Tiger will be playing."


AND A STEP EVEN BEFORE THAT!

But, the real problem began when Corey Pavin was tapped as captain. Spare me! I can hear the objections already. "But he's the bulldog! He deserved it! It wasn't his fault!"

Wasn't it? If Pavin is a, so-called, bulldog, then what does that make Paul Azinger? A grizzly? What does it make Ben Crenshaw? A saber-tooth! Surely, there has to be some difference!

What was the difference? Azinger was in charge from the beginning to the culmination of impressive victory in 2008. Crenshaw believed in fate and had "a good feeling!" Pavin simply stood around with the look of a lost little boy who had somehow wandered onto the course at Celtic Manor! Always with that little forced smile of his.

Interestingly, there was never an air of his being in charge. When he announced his captain's picks he sat there with that silly look on his face. It was as if he half expected someone to relieve him of command for his choices.

Maybe someone should have.


THE RUB OF THE GREEN!

Those are arguments that have and will be made. But — truth be told — there was nothing nefarious or scandalous or triumphant or tragic about any of this year's Ryder Cup proceedings. No, there was no questionable gamesmanship by Colin Montgomerie involving delayed reports about U.S. play or involving piling hoards of British fans into the course on the last day (although he did handle things masterfully, didn't he?). There was nothing weird or staged about the weather-forced changes in format (unless, of course, Montgomerie was able to call in a marker with God in order to get it to rain like it did).

In the end, there was nothing tragic about Hunter Mahan's fouled chip at 17. This isn't, after all, the sport of ancient Aztec competition which saw the losing team killed and sacrificed to the gods of the winning players! This is a game. A game that, in its playing out, is as entropic as anything in nature! Think of it. One bit of grass leaning just wrong can transform a championship-winning putt into a Dante-esque disaster! A routine chip, then, can become a career-making triumph or goat-making chunk! And, no, I don't for an instant label anyone as the goat of this year's event!

How very fitting it is that it was a Scottish poet, Robert Burns (perhaps a golfer, himself?), who penned the applicable lines:

"The best laid schemes of mice and men
"Go often askew,
"And leave us nothing but grief and pain,
"For promised joy!"

No doubt everyone involved planned victory, sought "promised joy." No doubt everyone hoped for the best. No doubt the "schemes" for a win were seemingly "best laid" on both sides of the competition. So, what happened?

Well, to use the most appropriate term from golf, Europe's win and the U.S.'s loss was nothing more than a proverbial golfing "Rub of the Green!"


SO, LET'S ALL TAKE A DEEP BREATHE!

Nothing was really lost or won today! Nothing! In fact, Colin Montgomerie cannot say that he finally has his "Major" as a result of today's European win. Last I looked, winning a Major still means playing in and coming in first at one of the four of Golf's Major Championships! But, if it makes him feel better...

Hunter Mahan really doesn't need to feel badly about missing his chip on 17. Oh, of course he would have liked to make it. But he really should feel more badly — as should all of the U.S. competitors — that he lost his match on Sunday, when Europe won 5 1/2 out of 6 points and took a three point lead into today's singles matches! Mahan is still one of the best up-and-coming players in the game and it would be a real shame if this "artificial" setback were detrimental to his ongoing success.

Comparisons will abound as to whether Corey Pavin or Paul Azinger or Tom Lehman or Ben Crenshaw is the better or worse Ryder Cup captain. Luck plays far too much into any of those discussions so it might be best to let sleeping dogs lie. Consider it. Had Justin Leonard missed his putt at Brookline, something that, given the level of his play that week, he probably should have done, Crenshaw would be another also-ran in the long line of loser U.S. Ryder Cup captains instead of being, according to many, the "Patron Saint" of modern American golf. Something to think about.


And with that, the end of another Ryder Cup. Thank goodness! Good thing this year's triumphs and disasters are still, according to Kipling anyway, still impostors.

Treat them exactly the same and get out there and...

Hit 'em Long and Straight!