RYDER-WHACKY PART II — WITH PROFOUND APOLOGIES TO LEWIS CARROLL!

by Doug McAllister

As promised, what follows is my second poetical installment regarding the 2010 U.S. Ryder Cup Team, the now completed roster and it's captain, Corey "The Bulldog" Pavin. Whether you agree with me or not, enjoy!

___________________

It’s nonsense! But after all it’s fine!
I’m not surprised it went this way!
That the BULLDOG’s bark became a whine.
That the TIGER brought the pup to bay!

Or was it that the pooch was bought,
That in the end, the thing was fixed?
That money talked, as we are often taught,
And by it’s charm the hope of fairness nixed?

But wait — Rymer and Roseforte
Each claimed the choices done just right!
But, as you’ve read my stuff beforte,
I think they’re both up in the night!

But Eldrick’s, bad as his nod was,
Was not the only flub today.
The youngster, all in orange fuzz,
Has no business going to the fray!

For Rickie doesn’t have the stuff!
He’s more a dandy — big hat toad!
In the end his play will prove just fluff,
And, mark me well, he’ll just implode!

So, boys and girls, the thing is done!
They’re off to Wales, that timid band!
I’ll be surprised, when race is run,
If they return with Cup in hand!

But it doesn’t matter, in the end.
“On the team or off” just doesn’t rate!
Golf is yours and mine, my dearest friend!
So, go out and Hit ‘em Long and Straight!

ONE LAST ATTEMPT AT RYDER CUP SANITY

by Doug McAllister

Interesting goings on at the Deutsche Bank Championship! What? You don't think so? How could Mop Top Charley Hoffman's victory NOT be interesting? Precision shots all day — the sort that everyone used to expect from you-know-who. A personal cool that almost brought an early winter to Bean Town. Most interesting to anyone with good eyes and a fraction of a brain!

Still, despite Hoffman's stellar play, the spotlight kept drifting elsewhere. Oh well! Things are as they are. So, let's dig in.

Tomorrow is the big day. Captain Pavin will at long last announce his final four pick for the United States' Fall Golf Sales Event...er...sorry...the United States' Ryder Cup Team. Got confused there for a minute. All that nonsense about money making.

The waiting is nearly over and here's hoping that we are all in for a big surprise. The media has been appropriately scripted and the headline typeset: TIGER MUST MAKE THE TEAM — OR ELSE! The doomsday sales machinery is in place and humming furiously! Yeah, yeah! I get it. Eldrick has to be there because he deserves it. Because he's number one in the world. Because without him the result will be a mini-recession in the world of golf!

Rubbish! Folks, let's get real here. We saw a performance today that is far more deserving right now than Eldrick's claims. Hoffman played better over the course of the last four tournament days than Eldrick did.

Oh, so your fine with Hoffman on board but don't think anyone else deserves to bump the Striped One out of the picture?

Let's talk about just a few more: Ryan Palmer, Zach Johnson, Ben Crane and J.B. Holmes are all currently ranked higher in the FedEx Cup standings and seem far more hungry for the opportunity than El(drick) Tigre! But what does that have to do with it? EVERYTHING! As I have tried to note too many times already, the Ryder Cup is to be won and not simply attended. It's primarily a golf competition and secondarily a moneymaking scheme! Can we all please agree upon those two rather straightforward points?

Finally, everyone seems to agree that Eldrick is in no shape to compete in the Ryder Cup but afraid to actually push for it. Yes, he seems to be making progress back but this is not a futures game. I hear a lot of individuals arguing that he will be ready come the start of the matches in October. Unfortunately — and I hope Pavin is honest, smart and courageous enough to see this — the decision has got be made NOW! And right now, like it or not, Eldrick is not — I repeat NOT — among the 12 best golfers that the USA has to choose from. Period!

So, get out there and
Hit 'em Long and Straight!

I'm betting that Eldrick is not quite able to do that yet!

DON'T MISS TOMORROW'S POST:
RYDER-WHACKY PART II

BOOK REVIEW: YOUR 15TH CLUB: THE INNER SECRET OF GREAT GOLF BY DR. BOB ROTELLA

by Doug McAllister

I first became acquainted with Bob Rotella, as many others did, through his book, GOLF IS NOT A GAME OF PERFECT. So well written, so straightforward and so applicable, PERFECT spoke to all of the mental concerns that I have had with my golf game.

So, naturally, it made perfect sense to get Rotella's newest book, YOUR 15TH CLUB: THE INNER SECRET TO GREAT GOLF, especially since Rotella had positioned this book as a companion volume to, PERFECT, the landmark work that so many had read and loved.

At first, 15TH CLUB seemed to be everything that I hoped it would be. Aside from a few sections where Rotella seems to get too enamored with his own psychology, the book seemed to flow and read just as well as PERFECT.

But, just when things seemed to reach the denouement promised in the title, namely revealing the SECRET TO GREAT GOLF, Rotella completely falls off the planet. Enter Padraig Harrington and Rotella's previously unknown position as President of the Padraig Harrington Fan Club! Two tedious, inexplicable chapters emerge wherein Rotella simply sings the praises of Paddy without really relating anything to the abandoned reader. Yes, the first of the chapters, titled "What I Learned from Padraig Harrington," seems to promise the reader a chance to learn some important mental tips from the Irish champion but then becomes Rotella's regurgitation of how Paddy played this tournament or that one.

But as I finished wading through the mess, the next chapter title seemed to offer some hope. Titled "Putting it All Together," this final chapter would surely get things back on track and, at long last, reveal the secret to great golf promised by the author. I couldn't have been more wrong. The final chapter was nothing more than Padraig Harrington - Part Deux!

Oh! One last thing. If you want to get the Yips, the neurological putting problem that plagues many of the game's best, simply read 15TH CLUB's Chapter 13: Nip the Yips. Nothing that I have ever read will put the wrong putting thoughts into your head more than this well-meant but surpassingly misguided chapter!

Stick with Rotella's excellent book, GOLF IS NOT A GAME OF PERFECT, and forget this one. It's a certainty that PERFECT will help you...

Hit 'em Long and Straight!

RYDER-WHACKY PART I — WITH APOLOGIES TO LEWIS CARROLL!

by Doug McAllister

As this year's Ryder Cup process has become as weird as the adventures of Alice in Wonderland, I thought it only fitting today to borrow a snippet from the master of nonsense, Lewis Carroll, for today's post. Here's my golfing slant on Carroll's poem, Jabberwocky, renamed, appropriately:

Ryder-Whacky

It's Silly! How the Ryder goes,
As golfers vie to make the team!
It used to be that the Captain chose
The tour's best players -- the year's Golf Cream!

Beware the Ryder Cup, my friend!
For politics now rule the game!
Beware! Those chosen, in the end,
May be simply those who bring a name!

Corey took his pencil in his hand:
Long time he scribbled, long he thought --
"Who should I choose to join my band?
"Should Eldrick make the team of not?"

And, as he wrestled with the mess,
The pressure mounted, fierce and cold!
It came from members of the press!
And from Tim Finchem's desk, I'm told.

"Tiger has to be on this year's team!
"If he's not, it spells catastrophe!
"It matters not that his game might seem,
"As weak and awful as it can be!"

"For it matters little if we keep
"The Ryder Cup -- now you must know,
"It's the dollars that will surely creep
"Away, should Eldrick miss the show!"

So there it is! It's sad but true!
For Pavin's picks we'll have to wait.
So until Tuesday, it's best that you
Go out and Hit `em Long and Straight!

To Be Continued...

MORE CRAP ABOUT HOW ELDRICK "DESERVES" A RYDER CUP BERTH

by Doug McAllister

Well, things are heating up as America prepares its defense of the Ryder Cup. And, with the heat, comes the apparent irrationality!

Golf Central on The Golf Channel today. Brandel Chamblee and — my old pal — Charlie Rymer discussed the probable picks to be made next Tuesday by Captain Corey Pavin. And there it was, for all to see. Chamblee, discussing the current playing stats of Eldrick Tiger Woods, noted that, from the standpoint of winning, there was no way that Tiger should be on the team. Very quickly, he then noted that, because of economic considerations, Tiger would have to be on the team! Otherwise, he noted, the PGA would loose beaucoup bucks — "Tens of millions of dollars!" — as fans would flee this year's competition — and taking their wallets with them! — in droves. Rymer sat there, like a dazed duck, hardly believing that his colleague had, at least, had the courage to tell the truth (at first) about Eldrick. He then stupidly babbled something about how he believed Tiger would make the team and deserved to be there!

At this point, nothing surprises me. I have loved and followed golf under the apparently false premise that Golf, playing excellence and the game's history were the Big Deal! Silly me! I'll say it again, O.B. Keeler had it right when he lamented that money would destroy sports, generally, and golf, particularly!

Look at what we have here — and apologies for repeating myself. Eldrick supposedly deserves to be at the Ryder Cup because of his...er... freak value! Please! Golf used to be the only sport that was impervious to the graft and corruption that plagues all of the other games. Now, I am supposed to believe that the United States should jeopardize its chances of defending the cup because the greatest prima donna in the game's history demands to be there? Okay! Fine, here's what I propose: put Eldrick in a cage at the event and let people spend the day throwing rotten food at him. Dress him up as a Tiger so that an appropriate theme is achieved! Better yet, have a Dunk-the-Tiger dunking booth at the event. Let people throw baseballs at him and put him in the drink. Charge $500 a pop and televise the proceedings internationally. That should make millions. Which, after all, is the prime motivation. Right?! And, never mind the actual playing of Ryder Cup golf or televising it. That's all secondary!

Total nonsense!

Here's hoping that, somehow, Pavin bucks the supposed predictions, uses his head for something more than a hat rack and leaves Eldrick behind!!

Advice to Chamblee and Rymer: Go out and play a few rounds...of golf! Try to remember what this great game is all about. Try to remember why you got involved with it in the first place and, in the future, start speaking more of the truth and less of the ordure.

Oh...and one other thing, gentlemen...despite your current crooked views of the game, go out and try to...

Hit 'em Long and Straight!

(I'll bet they can't!)

TAYLORMADE'S ROSSA CORZA GHOST: IT'S SPOOKY HOW GOOD THIS IS

by Doug McAllister

After viewing the video remarks of putting guru, Dave Stockton, and researching everything I could about Rossa's new CORZA GHOST PUTTER, I decided to take the leap and buy one. The Result? It's absolutely "SPOOKY" how good this is!

First, I admit I was skeptical that a white putter would make any difference at all on the green. It does! I tested it head-to-head against my much darker colored putter and I was absolutely amazed at the difference. Blown away! as Stockton put it! A far clearer view of the front line of the putter and its position next to the ball. Dramatically clearer.

Next, what about the three black sight lines on the top of the Corza? Remarkable! The slightest tip or twist of the putter head and you can clearly see whether the face is square, open or closed. In fact, I will go as far as to say that you shouldn't waste your time with and of the blade versions of the GHOST that are due out in stores soon. And I have always been dedicated blade putter aficionado — until now! In my view, three sight lines are better than the one you will apparently get with the "Core Classics" and Kia Ma blade versions.

In short, the mallet shaping of CORZA GHOST is the perfect format. Period! For example, I have seen photos of one of the blade versions of this putter that is to come out — different from the all white "Core Classics" version that is currently available at some outlets. Placing a round "bubble" on the back of a blade to apparently mimick the circle on the back of the Corza — even with three shorter sight lines — makes no sense to me.

Finally, I was astonished at how quietly solid the ROSSA CORZA GHOST is when making contact during the putting stroke — especially on long putts! More solid than any blade I have owned and even more solid than Odyssey's two-ball counterparts. I echo Stockton's praise for this putter.

Go out and try it for yourself. And, while you're at it...

Hit 'em Long and Straight!

THERE MAY BE MAGIC IN THAT 1978 PENNY!

by Doug McAllister

So by now you know me, right? I'm the guy who wants to look at Golf from a bigger (perhaps nuttier) perspective. Yes, there's all sorts of tabloid-like golf stories swirling in the media right now. That's fine. And there always will be. Yes, most of the golf blogs out there deal with them. Good, good! No, I am not a professional golfer who can help you with your slice, hook or with your putting. Probably fine too. Just golf-obsessed and willing to write about it.

So, let's proceed with today's post: Marking your ball.

Why this? Frankly, it's one of my favorite things about golf. Marking the ball is as fundamental as teeing it up. There was a time, you know, when it wasn't even permitted. In those days a Stymie — getting your ball in front of your opponents ball on the green and effectively blocking access to the hole — was the rule of the day and a time-honored strategy.

Moreover, there have been all sorts of controversies regarding marking the ball. One of the most preeminent came to the forefront during the 1999 Ryder Cup Matches at the Country Club in Brookline, Massachusetts. At that time Jarmo Sandelin — a Finnish born Swede with some interesting views on the game and on his golfing wardrobe, as well — had previously accused Mark O'Meara of improperly marking his ball. Sandelin went so far as to say that O'Meara had intentionally been improper in order to gain an advantage.

Say it isn't so!

The episode elicited an interesting response from O'Meara in which he referred to himself by his complete name: "Everyone who knows Mark O'Meara knows that improperly marking a golf ball to cheat is something Mark O'Meara just wouldn't do!" Wow! I guess the structure of that tirade might be because, as we all know, there is no 'I' in golf!

Ball markers vary tremendously. Some are free while some are expensively not! Some are as big as a house, having gigantic logos on them from this company or that one. Some are metal and some plastic. Some fit on the side of golf gloves as little pearl snaps. Some are magnetically attached to ball mark repair tools or the those swanky new magnetic areas on the brims of some golf hats (I'm a bit worried about those. Who's to say that the magnetic field so close to the brain might have adverse effects?!). Some are as ordinary as dirt while some are supposed to be...MAGICAL!

What about me? I always use a 1978 Lincoln penny to mark my ball. The significance of that year? It's the year that my brother-in-law literally forced me to start playing the game. So a 1978 penny is my marker.

Why a penny? I know that some like bigger coins — say a nickel or even a quarter — arguing that a larger coin is easier to see when lining up your put from the opposite side of the green. Okay. I recall, though, an article in which Golf Great Hale Irwin talked about marking ones ball "like the pros!" He then went on to say that pros use pennies because they are adequate and big enough to see without becoming an abstraction to other golfers. Good enough for me. Accordingly, I went out and began to collect all of the 1978 pennies that I could find.

Mind you, not just any coin from that year will do. I prefer circulated coins. There's a magic in a coin that's been circulated. Think of it! One of the coins that I have collected in recent days might have been in my pocket on that day at Cascade Golf Course, in Orem, Utah. I may have instinctively pulled it from my pocket and used it to mark my ball. After that, it may have traveled all over the place. It may have been used by Hale Irwin, himself, to mark his ball during one of his three U.S. Open victories. Or it may have been the coin that Billy Ray Brown threw, in dismay and anger, at a wayward rolling putt and was nearly penalized. Perhaps, seemingly losing its luck, it was pitched into the water hazard at Sawgrass' 17th hole — only to be seen and rescued by a diver, there to dredge balls that missed the famed Island Green! It may have then found its way to the change drawer of the cash register at Pebble Beach's pro shop. And then... Pretty magical stuff, eh? I think so.

Okay, so I'm either a little too sentimental or too weird or too something. So be it! I will continue to pull out of circulation every single 1978 penny that I can find! And, who knows, with all of the luck that each one is sure to emit...well...I might just be able to go out, one fine day, tee up my golf ball at each hole and...

Hit 'em Long and Straight!