by Doug McAllister
Well, things are heating up as America prepares its defense of the Ryder Cup. And, with the heat, comes the apparent irrationality!
Golf Central on The Golf Channel today. Brandel Chamblee and — my old pal — Charlie Rymer discussed the probable picks to be made next Tuesday by Captain Corey Pavin. And there it was, for all to see. Chamblee, discussing the current playing stats of Eldrick Tiger Woods, noted that, from the standpoint of winning, there was no way that Tiger should be on the team. Very quickly, he then noted that, because of economic considerations, Tiger would have to be on the team! Otherwise, he noted, the PGA would loose beaucoup bucks — "Tens of millions of dollars!" — as fans would flee this year's competition — and taking their wallets with them! — in droves. Rymer sat there, like a dazed duck, hardly believing that his colleague had, at least, had the courage to tell the truth (at first) about Eldrick. He then stupidly babbled something about how he believed Tiger would make the team and deserved to be there!
At this point, nothing surprises me. I have loved and followed golf under the apparently false premise that Golf, playing excellence and the game's history were the Big Deal! Silly me! I'll say it again, O.B. Keeler had it right when he lamented that money would destroy sports, generally, and golf, particularly!
Look at what we have here — and apologies for repeating myself. Eldrick supposedly deserves to be at the Ryder Cup because of his...er... freak value! Please! Golf used to be the only sport that was impervious to the graft and corruption that plagues all of the other games. Now, I am supposed to believe that the United States should jeopardize its chances of defending the cup because the greatest prima donna in the game's history demands to be there? Okay! Fine, here's what I propose: put Eldrick in a cage at the event and let people spend the day throwing rotten food at him. Dress him up as a Tiger so that an appropriate theme is achieved! Better yet, have a Dunk-the-Tiger dunking booth at the event. Let people throw baseballs at him and put him in the drink. Charge $500 a pop and televise the proceedings internationally. That should make millions. Which, after all, is the prime motivation. Right?! And, never mind the actual playing of Ryder Cup golf or televising it. That's all secondary!
Total nonsense!
Here's hoping that, somehow, Pavin bucks the supposed predictions, uses his head for something more than a hat rack and leaves Eldrick behind!!
Advice to Chamblee and Rymer: Go out and play a few rounds...of golf! Try to remember what this great game is all about. Try to remember why you got involved with it in the first place and, in the future, start speaking more of the truth and less of the ordure.
Oh...and one other thing, gentlemen...despite your current crooked views of the game, go out and try to...
Hit 'em Long and Straight!
(I'll bet they can't!)
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