TIGER'S LATEST EXCUSE

by Doug McAllister

Tiger's regular golf season seems to be coming to an end as he straggles farther and farther from the number necessary to see him though to next week's Tour Championship at East Lake. And as the end draws near Tiger — as usual — has something to blame.

This time it's his retooled swing. Picture this. At the end of each round the reporters mob the "world's #1" and ask questions galore. And the one that gets the response? "So, Tiger, what's going on with your game?" No, it isn't enough for him to say, "Frankly, I just suck right now." No. He has to have something more, something that takes the blame away — something that let's him remain #1, at least in his own mind.

So it goes something like this. "I'm in the process of really extra-special, extraordinarily complicated, super-major swing changes! And — you know — it's all something that I have done before. It isn't that I'm losing a step and falling from the pinnacle of golf. So don't go out and get rid of your 'TW' logoed paraphanalia just yet. It'll all be back and I'll go right back to destroying everyone in sight! I have to be patient. I'm the new and improved Tiger!

"What? Take steps to win this week and move on to next week's Big Finale at East Lake? Oh! No, no, no, no, NO! I have to stick with my ultra-major swing changes or else Coach Foley will be mad at me and tell my mommy that I'm a bad little Tiger!"

It would be refreshing, just once, to hear him admit that his game's off for any one of a hundred good reasons. That, like his friend, Roger Federer, he's riding into the proverbial sunset. Instead, he makes it sound like there's some sort of nobility in sticking to his new swing. Balderdash! Everyone knows that Tiger would sell his mother for a chance to win again...and again...and again! Time to realize that his best days of golf are about ten years in the past.

And, having said all that, I'm still waiting for someone out there to make an rational argument on Tiger's behalf that will make it possible for me to — at least — tolerate the annointed one. Please!

Happily, the fact remains that golf is one of those pursuits that is totally enjoyable regardless of the professional players and their various win or losses or personal problems. Whether or not Tiger makes it to next week's event has absolutely no impact on my personal enjoyment of and participation in the greatest game of all! So, with that in mind, get out there, have a great time and...

Hit 'em Long and Straight!