"DID YOU LEARN ANYTHING?"

by Doug McAllister

Have you seen it? Nike's new ad featuring Tiger Woods? There he stands with a plastic mug-shot, hang-dog, sad-eyed face — says nothing. The voice over is from Earl Woods, Tiger's late father. "What were you thinking," Earl asks. "Did you learn anything?" Touching stuff.

Well, here I am again, screaming at the top of my lungs that the emperor of golf is naked! There are no new clothes. It's all become a PR sham. And to make matters far worse, I hate Nike's attempt at manipulation here. This is absolute baloney — and I didn't even know that Nike was in the lunch meat market! They want us to feel better about Tiger? They want us to forgive him and allow him his rightful place in the pantheon of golf?

Not hardly! They want our money! That's always been the game and none other. Were Tiger off his game instead of off his morals they would drop him into the nearest water hazard! They could care less about Tiger, the person or the man. All they care about is the bottom line and they want us thinking better about Tiger just as soon as possible.

I can hear some of you now. "MAN, YOU'RE NUTS! Nike, that bastion of feel good American sports that brought us the likes of the "Can You Dig It?" Marion Jones liberation ads, would never knowingly try to manipulate anyone! They are as interested in us and our feelings as were our kindergarten teachers. Right?

Wrong! Let's all try to keep our heads still and our eyes square on the ball, Nike or otherwise, on this one. I don't mind Nike fairly marketing its product and doing its darnedest to make an honest buck. Let's play Nike clubs, tee up Nike balls or wear Nike shoes because we like them better, because they perform better for us than other products on the market. But, please, let's not be duped into believing that Nike needs playing because of the burgeoning, irresponsible media circus that swirls around Tiger Woods!

So until next time, whether with a Nike One Tour D or a Titleist Pro V1, hit 'em long and straight!