NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL GOLF NEWS!

by Doug McAllister

Sorry for not tuning in for awhile. What's going on? To borrow an analogy from Nature, "the trees have gone dormant. Hibernation. What have you."

But isn't golf a year round pursuit? Maybe if you live in Florida, Southern California or Arizona. Here in Utah, when the mountains begin to fill up with snow, the thought of hitting rock-hard golf balls is about as appealing as the prospects of a colonoscopy! But that's neither here nor there.

But I had to post today! Just read Devil Ball, THE preeminent golf blog out there (supposedly). The title was, nauseatingly and stupidly enough, was "Is Elin moving on from Tiger with a new gentleman? Could be..." (and you thought I was nuts for temporarily hibernating from golf!)

Oh, I should add that the author warned in a slipshod disclaimer at the beginning that the story wasn't, at all, about golf. Oh, really? SO WHY, THEN, WASTE THE DIGITAL INK?

There you have it!

First off, I couldn't give a pachyderm's posterior (that's an elephant's...well...you know) about Elin's latest...whatever you might want to call it. She never was golf news before. At best, she is simply golf soap now (even with the pathetic disclaimer)! Secondly, if you seriously know anyone who really thought that Elin would take her millions and join a convent instead of getting on with her life send 'em my way. I own some wonderful oceanfront property near Delta, Utah that they might be interested in buying.

But, then, that's what's wrong with golf blogs right now, isn't it? Too much "as the Tiger turns" and not enough golf. And nutty commentary about Elin's love life constitutes "as the Tiger turns" once removed! Inexcusable!

Enough said!

Hopefully some of you are getting out where it's warm and continuing to play the game. Golf, I mean. Me? I was hoping to get out this week. Still might if these Chinook winds that we're enjoying right now here in north-central Utah hold up. If not, It may be a while before I can get out and find out whether I can still...at least some of the time...

Hit 'em Long and Straight!