HE SAID HE SAID AND THE "MERITS" OF THE RYDER CUP

by Doug McAllister

A pretty telling day at the PGA! Where to begin. Let's just take 'em as they come.


HE SAID HE SAID

Seems yesterday was just bursting with developments. Tiger finally cracks a bit and says that he will accept an invitation to be a captain's pick on the Ryder Cup Team. Surprise, surprise! But that's just the tip of the proverbial iceberg.

Turns out Jim Gray — yep, the same as got in Pete Rose's face about coming clean on gambling, among other notable breaches of good taste and good sense — is skunking around, looking for a juicy scoop. He just happens to run in Corey Pavin and just happens to mention the Tiger statement. Naturally, he presses Pavin for a commitment about taking Tiger as a captain's pick. Pavin hesitates. Can he trust someone like Gray, so known for shooting off his mouth? Well...okay! Sure he'll take Tiger. Sure he'll extend an invitation. He'd be crazy not to. After all, Tiger is still number one in the world.

Like a happy little squirrel that's just found an acorn, Gray scampers off to spill his guts. Soon it's all over the Internet and leading the sports news. Good, good Gray!

But suddenly there's a snag. Pavin mysteriously turns tail and runs. Posting on his Twitter page, Pavin claims that he never said anything of the sort to Jim Gray or to anyone else. Moreover, he's not saying anything until the captain's picks are officially announced on September 7!

OUCH!

But hell hath no fury like our Jimmy Gray-Squirrel scorned. As quick a wink he's on the Golf Channel claiming that, although he thinks highly of Mr. Pavin, in this case Pavin's a dirty rotten liar! Not exactly his words but you get the picture.

Hilarious! First off, who ya gonna trust? A greasy nut wad like Jim Gray or Corey Pavin? I know who's got my vote and it's not Pete Rose's bestest buddy! The whole thing reeks to high heaven! Why, after months of claiming that he wasn't going to be railroaded about Eldrick and his place on the Ryder Cup Team, would Pavin run out and dump the story into a gutter like Jim Gray.

But things weren't over yet.

Corey Pavin and Colin Montgomery hold a Ryder Cup Captain's press conference today at Whistling Straits. Second question in and Pavin is on the spot straightening things out once and for all. "No, that's not what I said!" he says! "No, I won't rehearse my conversation with Mr. Gray!" he continues. And that's the end of it. And if you believe that I have some prime ocean front property here in Utah that I can sell you cheap!


HE DESERVES IT ON HIS MERITS?!

Next we turn to a peripheral issue arising from the aforementioned spitting match. After the "He said He said" had subsided, Golf Channel commentators naturally had to weigh in on the entire mess. Enter Charlie Rymer. When asked whether Eldrick should be on the team, this pearl of great price popped right out of Rymer's clam shell boxers:

"Of course he should be on the team. On this one and the next three. He deserves to be there on the merits of his career alone!"

Stop the presses! I get it. We've turned the Ryder Cup into a golf Disneyland with our favorite golf characters walking around for no other reason than to be seen...ON THE MERITS OF THEIR CAREERS! Okay. I can see it now. Better roll out Jack and Arnie. Wait, O'Meara has had a pretty stellar career. Oh, and Watson, as I recall, won a few majors and, more to the point, won most of them in Britain — where this year's Ryder Cup is being played! After all, we're really not in this to win it. We're just going to scare the European team away on our merits!

I couldn't believe my ears. Here was a respected golf commentator actually saying that Eldrick Tiger Woods deserved to play because he wanted to and because we owed him a spot! Total Rubbish!

Why not put players on the team who are...let's see...actually PLAYING and PLAYING WELL?! If Tiger's game goes any farther south he'll have a penguin on the bag. In short, let Tiger sit this one out — unless he miraculously wins at Whistling Straits — because right now he's totally unable to...

Hit 'em Long and Straight!