WILD, LAUGHABLE STUFF AS THE PGA CONCLUDES

by Doug McAllister

Now that all of the dust (and sand!) has settled, it's time to weigh in regarding the shocking denouement of this year's PGA Championship.

First off, well-deserved kudos to Martin Kaymer and Bubba Watson. But, after playing their hearts out, I fear that, sadly, they run the risk of becoming unfortunate footnotes to the event in question. Sort of like Bob Goalby. Oh...don't know who he is? Well, he's the guy who won the 1968 Masters when Roberto de Vincenzo signed an incorrect scorecard. Absolutely! You've heard of de Vincenzo. But Goalby, the champion, is the footnote. Ironies!

Which brings us to Dustin Johnson.

No, I won't rehearse a blow-by-blow of what happened on Sunday. It is sufficient to say that Johnson hit his ball into the gallery. Right! Happens all the time. But in this strange scenario the gallery had been allowed to stand in a bunker. And more to the point, SOMEHOW THE BUNKER WAS RULED TO BE IN PLAY, WITH ALL OF THE CHARACTERISTICS AND ATTENDANT PENALTIES OF A USUAL BUNKER. Strange that! How could spectators be allowed to stand inside a bunker and have it remain a bunker by the standards of the rules of golf? Horrors!

Making a long story short: Johnson thought he was dealing with a patch of scarred hard pan, proceeded to ground his club — as I am sure 100% of his fellow competitors would have done — and played on. No harm. No foul. WRONG! Johnson was deemed to have illegally grounded his club and the attendant penalty blew him out of the championship and cost him $600,000!

I, like so many of my fellow golf bloggers, am shocked and appalled that there was no compensation made. I could see the peewees of the PGA coming unglued had Johnson absentmindedly grounded his club in a greenside bunker. Sure! That's defined. That's logical. But to assess a championship compromising penalty — regardless of how the players had been forewarned — was about as ludicrous a thing as I have ever witnessed. Even Old Tom Morris was surely somersaulting in his grave!

I had to chuckle when the PGA rules official was interviewed on camera following the incident. He looked as scared as a Christian in the Colosseum! He acted as if he fully expected to be torn limb from limb by wild fans at any second. If the whole thing hadn't been such a travesty I suppose it would have won the prize on the next installment of America's Funniest Home Videos!

Okay. Are the rules of golf important. Absolutely. The rules define play for nearly every possible golfing situation. Right. There are, for example, rules for ground under repair. Why not compensations for ground under stampede? Who on earth allowed the wild herd of human bovines to occupy a part of the course that was still damningly in play? What's next? Allowing the gallery to occupy portions of putting greens? I'm beginning to believe that the PGA would agree with the conclusion of the golf farce, Happy Gilmore, and make players putt and chip through collapsed broadcast towers and flaming automobiles!

In my thinking, a classic "No Call," the sort seen nearly every game in college football or basketball would have been both classy and expected. Instead, the PGA rules Lilliputians hustled out and accosted Johnson as he was exiting the final green, still appropriately believing that he had a chance to win the tournament.

Wild stuff! Tragic stuff! Idiotic stuff!

At this point, I'd say "Hit 'em Long and Straight!" but, after this, who knows if that will be good enough!